Military life comes with many unique challenges, including long deployments, frequent moves, solo parenting, and the constant struggle to meet the high demands of military and home life.
The uncertainty of the future can often lead to anxiety, increasing the mental and emotional workload in addition to everything else.
And as military spouses, we frequently go through phases where we don’t have our village. This has been one of our biggest struggles living OCONUS in Germany.
In these environments, it is so easy to put self-care on the back burner, especially during these most demanding and challenging times. Finding time to carve out a few minutes for yourself may feel like one more thing to add to your list.
Whether you’re a solo parent surviving a deployment, getting ready for a PCS move, navigating your career, or simply overwhelmed by the demanding lifestyle, developing a self-care routine can provide you with much-needed rest and help replenish your empty cup.
This self-care guide is designed to help you customize and create a self-care routine you can maintain in this demanding lifestyle, especially during the most challenging periods.
Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity, especially when you’re carrying the weight of this lifestyle on your shoulders.
Let this guide empower you. Let it be a tool to help you be the best version of yourself during the most demanding moments. Learn more about how these tips can help you recharge and continue to be there for your family and yourself.
Related Post: 45 Best Self Care Ideas for Busy and Exhausted Moms
14 Tips for a Self Care Routine
1. Create Realistic Goals
Your self-care goals need to be realistic. Start small. Create a “self-care wish list” and pick one or two to prioritize.
Another option would be to dedicate a small amount of time each day to your self-care activities. Start with 10 minutes a day. Keep this to a minimum; that way, it ensures you do something for yourself, even if it’s just 10 minutes.
Keep a tracker or journal to help you stay motivated and on track
2. Incorporate these Activities into your Morning Routine
Start your day off right! Set your alarm 10 minutes earlier so you can enjoy a cup of coffee or tea before you start the day.
Give yourself a window to journal or read a daily devotion while the kids are still asleep. This can give you an opportunity to be in a better head space to start the chaotic day.
Related Post: How to Establish a Mommy Morning Routine that Works for You
3. Create a Schedule you can Maintain
This is one of the most important elements of this self-care guide.
Build selfpcare activities into your existing routines, such as listening to a pod cast while folding laundry, or driving the kids to school.
Mix up your activities, but still have a schedule. Consider having an exercise activity such as walking, or a group class a couple days a week, and then schedule a different hobby or journaling other days.
Having a variety to your schedule may make it more fun, and even have you looking forward to the next self-care activity.
Ultimately, your goal is to be able to maintain this self-care schedule during your busiest and most overwhelming phases of life.
Create a calendar for the entire family- this can be a great tool to ensure everyone is doing something for themselves.
4. Incorporate Physical Activity
Physical activity is so important, for one’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being. You don’t want to neglect this.
And sadly, chasing after little kids, as exhausting as it may be, is not a form of physical activity for self-care.
I think walking is one of the easiest forms of physical activity. A 10-minute walk a day will do wonders! I rarely get to go on a walk by myself, but, I do enjoy pushing my kids in the stroller. Getting outside always puts me in a better headspace.
5. Prioritize Sleep
I am in the phase of life with a baby and a toddler, and in no world do I get enough sleep. It is rough.
Prioritizing sleep is so important. At the end of the day, I so badly just want to lie on the sofa and watch TV. And that “one more episode” can be a terrible mistake I always regret in the morning.
Give yourself a bedtime, and stick with it. Don’t fall into the trap of scrolling on the phone while lying in bed. Time will slip right away.
You may not be able to control how you and the kids sleep at night or sleep in, but you should control what time you put yourself to bed.
6. Fuel your Body
I’ve never liked the phrase, “You are what you e.at”, I’m pretty sure I would be a bar of chocolate. But, there is a lot of truth to this.
Proper nutrition and sufficient water intake are essential for your overall health and well-being. Not only are you taking care of yourself now, but you are also ensuring a healthier future.
Start small. Start by adding a glass of water to your daily intake and decreasing the number of cokes and sweet drinks by one.
Instead of grabbing candy bars and chips while you’re out running around, bring an apple and some string cheese. Think small and easy snacks.
7. Practice Gratitude
Spending holidays without your significant other, living far from family and friends, and missing important life events are all aspects of military life that families have to endure.
Comparing this life to others who do not face the same struggles can quickly put you in a bad headspace.
During these phases, it’s so important to find gratitude, even if it’s in the tiniest of things. Looking at these challenges with a different perspective can shift one’s attitude and even put you in a better headspace.
8. Practice Mindfulness
This is a great practice to check in on yourself. It can be so easy to set yourself on autopilot, especially when you’re stressed and exhausted.
Did you just go for a walk but realize you were on autopilot the entire time? Sure, the walk was beneficial for your physical well-being, but it didn’t necessarily help your mental health.
Be present. This means shutting off the phone. Play with your kids without the screens in the background
Enjoy your outside walk. Being present in the moment is an excellent opportunity to practice gratitude.
Mindfulness can improve focus and decrease stress.
9. Prioritize Morning Hygiene
It’s so easy to just roll out of bed, throw on some clothes, throw the hair up, and get started for the day. But how good do you feel? I tend to feel as disheveled as I look.
This has been something I’ve been trying to work on, and the benefits have been tremendous. I feel so much better about myself.
I prioritize my skincare routine, use some dry shampoo, throw on some mascara, and call it a day.
It doesn’t have to be much, just enough for you to feel refreshed and confident.
10. Stay Connected with your Support Network
This is particularly beneficial when you’re going through the hard stuff. And if you’ve been through deployments, the deployment curse is real. Who else better to understand than your military spouse community?
Truly, lean on your family and friends. It’s so easy to become swallowed up and consumed with the hard stuff. Be transparent and ask for help.
Schedule those coffee dates and phone calls. Having a support network is good for the soul!
Related Post:
How to Deal with the Challenges of Moving Away from Family
18 Tips for Making Friends while Living Abroad
17 Easy Ways to Support Military Spouses during Deployments
11. Identify and Set Personal Boundaries
Saying no can be incredibly difficult, especially if you’re a people pleaser. During these challenging phases, you’re likely already spread very thin.
Set those boundaries. Learn to say no.
Communicate your self-care needs to your family and friends so they understand and respect your boundaries.
12. Include Hobbies you Love
Hobbies can be so much fun and are a great form of self-care.
Whether you want to knit, garden, or join a swim team, hobbies are excellent to include in your schedule.
Consider being flexible with your hobbies. For example, maybe you want to alternate knitting with journaling in the evening and riding your bike on the weekend.
The goal is to customize this schedule so you can maintain it.
Related Post: 109 Fun Hobbies and Ideas that are Great for Busy Moms
13. Add Relaxation Elements at Home
Once the kids are in bed and the house is picked up, I can relax.
I set up my diffuser with some peppermint essential oils, grab a comfy blanket, and my computer. This is usually my time to relax and work on my blog.
Set up an area in your home that’s ideal for relaxing. Put out some beautiful house plants, maybe even play some relaxing music. Customize this area for you!
14. Celebrate the Wins
Always celebrate the victories, no matter how small they may be. Celebrating wins boosts morale and can easily cause a shift in perspective.
I think it’s important to realize that although these wins may seem small to an outsider when you’re balancing the high demands of home and military life, they can be monumental.
Related Post: 45 Best Self Care Ideas for Busy and Exhausted Moms
My Final Thoughts on Having a Self-Care Routine
Creating a self-care routine is not about having a checklist that adds to the demanding life you already have. It’s simply about progressing to better yourself for you and your loved ones.
Every small amount of self-care you give yourself makes a big difference in how you feel, which ultimately can impact your day and how well you manage those military lifestyle stressors. You are working on yourself while building emotional and physical resilience.
Prioritizing your needs sets a great example for your children. Carving out time for yourself is an investment in your overall health and happiness.
I hope these strategies serve as a tool for you to find the strategies and techniques needed for your own self-care.
And remember, the path to self-care is personal, and every minute counts. Balancing the military lifestyle with the other demands of life takes an exceptional amount of grace. Start small, and figure out what works for you!
I would love to hear from you! How have you managed to balance self-care in this hectic life? Do you have any additional tips and suggestions?
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