Pros and Cons of Moving Abroad: From a Military Spouse & Mom

Do you have an upcoming move overseas? Are you a parent of little kids and not sure how well you can adapt to being far from home? Living abroad, away from the comforts of home, can be incredibly difficult, yet you can have so many amazing life opportunities. As a mom of two young children, these are the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad we have experienced while living in Germany. 

As a military spouse, moving every few years is a normal part of the military lifestyle. However, an OCONUS (outside the Continental United States) move can be life-changing in many ways.

Having an adventurous spirit, I get bored quite easily. When my husband received orders for Germany, I jumped with excitement! Accepting that there would be pros and cons to living abroad, I was ready to move our little family overseas. 

Little did I know the many challenges and disadvantages of living abroad we would face, especially when it comes to having little kids. But, along with those disadvantages, there have been many unique advantages of living overseas that have been a surprising benefit for me and my family! 

From pregnancy to isolation to new experiences and travel, these have been my advantages and disadvantages of living abroad in Germany.

The Pros and Cons of Living Abroad

Pros of living abroad

The Ease of Travel

Travel is one of my favorite advantages of living abroad. Now, traveling with a baby and toddler is not easy, and far more often, it’s more work than fun. But having incredible new travel opportunities l is such a blessing!

We are making so many incredible memories and seeing parts of the world I could have only dreamed of!

Many European countries have a phenomenal public transportation system, which can make traveling with little kids so much easier!

Traveling is a fantastic hobby, and traveling to different countries with your family can be a wonderful experience!

Some of our favorite child-friendly cities and countries have been:

Split, Croatia

Rhodes, Greece

Italy 

And, of course, Germany!

Check out these 10 Surprising Benefits of Traveling with Kids! 

More focus on the family

A major pro of living abroad, and one of the best things I have experienced, has been the shift of focus entirely on family. For sure, it’s a product of living on the economy hours from post. The shift from two parents with independent careers to one has also played a role. And it is important to mention that very few Americans live in our town. 

We don’t have separate friend groups in Germany, and we rarely go out without each other. This has been great for this chapter of our lives. It’s really helped us bond and stay connected during this baby and toddler chapter (which is a hard one!).

Seeing how our family has grown together while living overseas has been a pretty amazing blessing.

Meet new people and make new lifelong friends

Living abroad forces you to get out and meet people. At first, this can be very overwhelming, especially in a foreign country. I initially found this pretty challenging, but since we have lived abroad, we have met some really interesting people. It’s such a unique opportunity to make new friends from other countries! 

For tips on making friends, check out: 18 Tips for Making Friends Abroad

Experience New Cultures

One of the unique advantages of living abroad is being immersed in different cultures. After the initial cultural shock, it can take some time to adapt, but after a while, you may find yourself becoming more comfortable! It can be fun to enjoy local customs and experience a new culture.

Living overseas can help you gain insight into your own culture and give you a view from a new perspective. Experiencing different cultures allows you to be more accepting of cultural differences, which is excellent for helping kids be more well-rounded!

Living in Europe is unique because you can easily travel to so many countries and experience a taste of different cultures. 

Try new foods

Trying new foods is a great way to experience the world. Before we visit other countries, I like to look up some of their local cuisine and specialty foods! It’s such a fun way to travel.

One of the advantages of living overseas is the opportunity to try new foods from your new country and surrounding ones. It can be surprising how different it tastes compared to the ethnic food in America.

Also- the quality of food and produce in Germany is amazing!

Learn how to adapt 

After moving abroad, you eventually learn how to adapt. This may come as a surprise, especially with such a culture shock. But eventually, you will slowly find your way. This push gets you out of your comfort zone and enables personal growth.

Letting your children experience this at a young age helps them develop the tools to adapt to new environments and people, which will help carry them far in life! 

Learn a new Language

Learning a foreign language in high school significantly differs from learning it while immersed in the country. Make learning the language a personal goal! This can be a great interpersonal hobby!

When you move, look into taking language classes. Many OCONUS bases offer language classes for military families, so be sure to take advantage of these resources!

Try out different hobbies

Consider moving overseas as a fresh start. This is a great opportunity to try something new! There may be a lot of hiking in your area, or it’s a perfect location for winter sports! Germany is great for cycling! Trying out different hobbies can help you form connections and make friends!

You may just discover a new passion!

Tip: If you’re interested in cycling, purchase an electronic bike. They are very popular in Germany. E-bikes give you a more enjoyable ride and are also fantastic for pulling children!

Check out my list of: Hobbies Ideal for Busy Moms!

Living overseas can be one of your greatest adventures

Your life for the next few years will be a new adventure! This is so exciting! And if you have a family, you will share this adventure with them, which is pretty special! Getting out of your bubble opens up so many opportunities, interests, and experiences. Truly, moving overseas can be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that many can only dream about. 

Embrace the adventure and experience!

I can’t speak for everyone, but as a military spouse, while living in Germany, we have definitely had a more balanced quality of life. This may be partially because I have had to take a break from my career. We also don’t have the same distractions as we did in the States.

We are learning more and more how to prioritize each other, our family, and the experiences of living abroad. I have found that living overseas makes it easier to be more family-focused, giving us a better quality of life. 

Improved quality of life balance

I think this is one of the more special living abroad advantages when you have little kids; it’s time you will never get back.

You start adapting to foreign countries’ work-life balance, and if it’s anything like Germany’s, they have a much better approach than ours in the States.

You learn to be more independent and a better problem-solver

As a military spouse, I have learned to become more and more independent. With a husband who is gone frequently, I am often solo parenting. This, in conjunction with living overseas, we have fewer people to rely on. Fewer people to ask for help, and even fewer who can understand what we are experiencing. 

Although these are some of the disadvantages of living abroad, through them, I have gained more independence. It has forced me to grow as a wife and mom. Figuring out seemingly impossible tasks, especially with the language barriers, is a massive accomplishment.

Related Post: A Unique Perspective on the Greatest Gifts of Being a Military Spouse

You could be moving to a safer country

This can easily be seen as a major disadvantage if the country you are moving to is more dangerous than your home country. In my experience, moving to our little town in Germany has been wonderful because it feels significantly safer than my own country. You see young kids walking to school by themselves.

I consistently leave my stroller with my belongings unattended. I don’t have the same safety concerns when I am walking alone. And I have not heard of a single school shooting in Germany while living here.

Make lasting memories

This is an incredible pro of moving abroad! Moving to a foreign country gives you opportunities to make incredible and unique memories! It forces you to branch out of your bubble and live new life experiences! Sharing these experiences and memories with your spouse and kids is so special! 

The Cons of Living Abroad

Experiencing culture shock

This can be pretty scary. During our first month in Germany, I was terrified of going out and ordering food. It took us over a month to receive our household goods, so we really didn’t cook much. 

I lived in Costa Rica for a semester in college and did not have this same fear.

Living in Southern Germany, many people are friendly, but the people, culture, local language, and social norms are so different from what I was accustomed to in my home country.

For those first couple of months, I had a hard time; I had this unexpected fear that was all-consuming. I wasn’t prepared for the cultural barriers and the inability to communicate.

I’m pretty sure we ate margarita pizza for most of that first month!

Experiencing the Reverse Culture Shock

We have not experienced this yet; however, I felt inclined to include this in my post because many of my military spouse friends have experienced this moving back to the United States.

Eventually, aspects of culture shock dissipate, and if you allow yourself,  you can quickly fall in love with certain lifestyles of the country. This can be really hard to leave. Despite the many challenges of living abroad, I really don’t want to leave Germany!

There is a significant language barrier

The language barrier is a significant disadvantage of living abroad. It’s a drastic difference from vacationing in a different country. Trying to get your needs met can be a struggle. I have sometimes felt completely inadequate in my communication skills; even the little things can be challenging.

Calling doctors’ offices only to receive voicemails, trying to navigate the school systems, or simply wanting to converse with other moms.

As an extrovert, this can be really hard. The inability to express yourself with others can make you feel like a mute. It can be hard to feel heard, especially in a city that speaks little English.

You are far from family and friends

Oy vey, this one can be tough, especially if you have a tight-knit family. Having aging parents and relatives and missing out on special occasions can be significant cons of living abroad. You are missing out on their lives, and they are missing out on yours. This should really be a consideration when you are making an informed decision about moving to a foreign country.

We had a baby in Germany, and most of my family has not had the opportunity to meet her yet. Not to mention missing your best friends.

It’s important to note that you are so far away if there are any family emergencies. 

Related post: How to Deal with the Challenges of Moving Away from Family and Friends

Lack of Community 

Community is so important. Whether it’s a military spouse group, an exercise group, or a mom group, a community is a group of people who share similar interests. It’s a place to share a hobby or a safe place for outlets. It can be hard to appreciate these community support groups until you no longer have one. And it can take time to feel established in a community.

After having a baby in Germany, my husband and I really felt the lack of a village. One of the most challenging parts about living overseas is not having an additional family member or network to help with the kids. My husband travels a good bit, so I am solo parenting a lot with a toddler and a baby.

Doing this alone has been, hands down, the hardest thing and one of the biggest disadvantages of living abroad. Even simple things like finding a babysitter can be challenging.

It can feel lonely

I think the life of a military spouse can feel quite lonely at times. With the permanent move to different places, deployments, and other training events, loneliness often comes hand in hand.

However, loneliness from moving abroad can be experienced by the entire family. Not having those people with whom you can relate or the inability to get past the new environment in daily life can quickly put you in a slump. This can be pretty devastating if you don’t have your family.

It’s really important to check in on your spouse and kids; do frequent mental health checks on each other. 

Related Post: How to Manage Feelings of Loneliness as a Military Spouse

​You can easily feel homesick

Sometimes, you need the comforts of home. Whether it’s friends, family, holidays, or food, missing these comforts can be hard. While I was pregnant and living in Germany, I really missed the comforts of home—especially with all of my food cravings!

Celebrating holidays abroad is another opportunity to feel homesick. Holidays like Christmas are exceptional in Germany; however, holidays such as the Fourth of July can really be missed!

Related Post: The Complexities of Living Abroad while Pregnant

Related Post: How to Celebrate Holidays when you’re Abroad

It can be challenging to manage your health concerns

Navigating medical checkups and dental visits in a foreign country can be one of the biggest disadvantages of living abroad. I am confident this can vary depending on your situation. Being in the military, we have Tricare overseas, which is excellent; however, we live hours from post. This means we are medically seen on the economy.

One of my most challenging experiences was receiving prenatal care and having a baby in Germany. Adjusting to the cultural differences, technology, and language barrier was one of the hardest things about my pregnancy.

I truly felt homesick during this time. It wasn’t bad; the health care was just different. And I missed how things were done with my first pregnancy.  It was hard not being heard.

This is why you have to go through the EFMP process to be stationed overseas.

Tips for military families: Navigating Tricare health Insurance is not easy. Living on the economy, we must pay for everything and then file for reimbursement. We even had to do this to have our baby. Filing for reimbursement can be time-consuming and a hassle. I don’t find this process easy at all; you have to do it all through the German bank account.

You can check out my prenatal and labor experience here!

​The effects of your career

Depending on the job market, SOFA status, and other variables, career opportunities can be limited. I am a Family Nurse Practitioner who loves my career. However, moving overseas, I have had to take a back seat. This was a considerable discussion between my husband and me when considering whether moving to Germany was the right choice.

Deciding to be a stay-at-home mom while the kids are little is truly a blessing and one I may not have fully appreciated until I am given the opportunity. Being a stay-at-home mom is incredibly challenging, and I do miss working in cosmetics. It will be waiting for me when we move back to the States. 

For now, I am raising two tiny children; arguably, that is the most important job I can do. So, for now, I am enjoying my blogging hobby and sharing my life experiences!

Adjusting to new rules and the way of life

I chose to put this in the cons category; however, it is not a major disadvantage. Instead, it’s more of an adaptation to the new country’s way of life. Countries may have different values and rules, and it’s important to follow many of them.

For example, I have so much anxiety when it comes to throwing away trash in Germany! We have gelba sacs for recycling, bio for all food products, bins for paper products, bins for glass, a personal bin for pfand (you can turn in specific glass and plastic bottles for money), and then trash. You can get fined if you don’t follow these rules.

Sunday is also a rest day in Germany, which means stores (including grocery stores) are closed on Sundays.  After a while, these new rules are just a part of your daily life.

Final Thoughts on the Advantages and Disadvantages of Living Abroad

Moving your family overseas is an incredible, life-changing experience. You and your family will face new challenges for the first time, and you must figure out your own way through them. There will be so many challenges with this big move!

The good news is you will have the opportunity to experience a different way of life, and it will be what you make of it. It is a perfect opportunity to grow and live life while experiencing a new place with those new experiences. 

You will have your own living abroad advantages and disadvantages. Embrace the challenge; it’s a great form of personal development! It’s a good idea to be open-minded for the entire experience. Despite all of the challenges of living abroad, I genuinly love it!

I would love to hear from you! Have you lived overseas? What was your experience like?

You may also like:

Preparing for an OCONUS PCS

A Complete Guide for Shipping your Car to Germany

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Create the Best Organized PCS Binder (With Free Printables)

A Military PCS: How to Prepare and Pack for HHG, UB, & NTS

The Best Tips for Flying with Babies and Toddlers

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